Dear James, Do you remember the first time you were abusive to me? I do. It was a Saturday morning and we had plans to go to a car show. You told me I was being too cheerful, that I needed to be quiet in the morning. Do you remember doing this? I do. I… Continue reading Dear James, Part 4
The most intense abuse I experienced with James was always during the times we traveled. I believe that all bets were off once we got into the car or the plane took off from the runway. It was his opportunity to ditch his mask of sporadic kindness for the real James to emerge. Our first… Continue reading Leaving Las Vegas
I talked a little bit about being scared yesterday. If you are reading this and are scared, even just a little scared, I urge you to seek help right now. Do not discount your fear. It is so common for those of us who have been abused to lose our ability to trust our instincts.… Continue reading If You Are Scared
“You were the abusive one all along, cheating and lying at will, and any pain you’ve suffered is not nearly what you deserve.” The above passage was part of a much longer e-mail ever so lovingly crafted from James to me. It was the very last communication I ever received from him and earned him… Continue reading A Letter from James to Jenny
As I mentioned in an earlier post, James and I met online via an online dating site. His profile reads (then and now…yes, he’s back online both OK Cupid and Match.com and who knows where else looking for his new soulmate) absolutely quirky and delightful. We exchanged some silly messages back and forth via the… Continue reading Red Flags #1-#2
Spent yesterday with my daughter at the lakefront in Indiana. I could see the skyline of Chicago in the distance and felt the tiniest pang of sadness and ick. While I live in suburbia, James is a city boy and so much of the abuse I experienced happened there. I was worried this weekend would… Continue reading Sand in my Toes
James was truly meant to live in a different era. I picture him in a Jane Austen novel, properly dressed in a long woolen coat and riding pants. He could be Mr. Darcy’s disordered younger brother who is brooding and dark. I say this because James and technology? So not a match made in heaven.… Continue reading Mr. Darcy Had a Brother?